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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, making a strange expression or be captured while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to honor her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
Emma, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their bond?